Posted on February 22, 2018
The first piece of advice that I received from Jianfeng was that I needed to provide more background information on the authors of both stories. I feel that this is important because without good background knowledge on the authors or on the subject itself, this can hinder the reader’s ability to follow the content of the essay. The reader may have to stop reading to do some background research for themselves on the topic or they may continue to read the essay with confusion. Throughout the essay, Jianfeng pointed out a number of occasions where my sentence structure was sometimes unnecessary and repetitive which can disturb the flow of the essay in a way. I will try to read my essay over again for any points where it feels either repetitive or does nit belong where it currently is.
At the same time, Jianfeng also pointed out some places where I did not give enough information for the reader to understand the sentence or paragraph and asked me what I meant by that. I felt that this was an important piece of advice for me because although I may believe that what I am stating in my essay is clear, not everyone may see or understand what I am thinking and as a result I should try to go out of my way to explain to a greater extent. I feel that is a priority of mine to discuss how my sentence structure can be reworked so that the sentences and content make more sense to the reader. At the same time, I need to address whether I am actually satisfying the point of the task at hand for this assignment.